When preparing for marriage the most common piece of advice other’s will give you is “Marriage is 50/50!” An old, cliche saying that when thought hard about actually invalidates itself. During our premarital counseling we read something that changed my perspective. If marriage is 50/50 then you and your spouse are only giving 50% effort into a life long commitment. If you give 50% at a test, you fail. If you give 50% at your job, you get fired. What makes giving 50% in your marriage any different? It’s not, which is unfortunately why the mentality of 50/50 has lead to a divorce rate of nearly 50%… not such a surprising statistic when put into perspective.
So what does a marriage of 100/100 look like? Let’s start by saying no marriage is perfect. The only perfect example we have is of Christ, and didn’t he give 100% when he was crucified on the cross? This example is exactly what marriages were intended to reflect. Laying yourself down for your spouse. Of course this is metaphorically speaking, but in a marriage laying yourself down for your spouse means doing what is BEST for them 100% of the time. And though we might not like it ladies, that also means caring for our spouse, respecting him and treating him as a true leader of our home. Husbands, this means actually putting your dishes in the dishwasher, and helping with chores. Does that mean we can’t bring up an itching irritation? Of course not! Marriage is also about growth, learning about the other and opening your spouse’s eyes to things they may be doing that burden you, frustrate you or come between you as a couple. But one thing I’ve learned in premarital and being married is that it should be done in love. It’s not WHAT you say, it’s HOW you say it.
Being Mrs. McIntosh won’t always be easy, but I am so excited to share with you the truths of marriage; my failures, my successes and my attempt to explore creative ways to date my husband while attempting to give 100% in our marriage.