Overcoming Obstacles in Marriage

obstaclesSelf righteousness is a dangerous snare in which we can easily find ourselves caught. When we compare our sins to others and feel as though we are better, we are instantly trapped to the enemy’s ploy. Sadly self righteousness is a trap in which I found myself once caught.  The worst part about it was that the person I was sinning towards by placing myself on an invisible pedestal was my husband. I was caught in thoughts of his past sins, regardless of the fact that they were committed YEARS before we even met. I struggled against their grip, but could not escape.

In my mind I was constantly comparing. This comparison led to resentment, which created anger. My pride was blinding and I felt that his sins were greater than mine because of the degree to which I felt he had fallen prey to the enemy. I was seeing Clay for his sin and neglecting to open my eyes to the sinful judgement I was giving him. After time God opened my eyes and I realized that anything in Clay’s past was his past and there it was meant to stay.

I had been so mislead and drawn to the idea that it was all about me, when in fact his sin was between him and God. Clay had come to Him for forgiveness, he was renewed and blanketed by the perfection in the sacrifice of Jesus.  If God could see Clay as renewed, then me in my imperfection was called to do the same. I cannot look at my husband and see his past. I am called to look at him with the unconditional love of Christ, loving him in his imperfection just as he loves me.

I recently came across a quote on Instagram that read “Satan knows your name but calls you by your sin. God knows your sin but calls you by your name”. How marvelous and wondrous is our Father that regardless of our fallen nature he calls us by how he sees us. If we are only seeing others by what they have done, which character in that quote are we mirroring? I have no justification to call Clay by his sin, as his wife I am called to simply love. Not to love when I feel like it, not to love only parts of him. Being Mrs. McIntosh means loving all of him, past, present and future.

If you struggle to look past your spouses or significant others sin I encourage you to read “Respectable Sins” by Jerry Bridges. He dissects the misguided notions of sin in today’s world and uncovers the true nature of sin and how each sin is equal in God’s eyes. Buy it here on Amazon: Respectable sins .


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