Some people are born to be great thinkers, others are born to be great artists, and then there is a very special group of people who are born to be great mothers. I have had many jobs, scooping ice cream, serving at a banquet hall, catering in an amusement park, teacher, student, but in all those jobs the one I was born for is being a mother. However today I had the worst mom moment of all three months of being a mother.
Whilst getting dressed for the day (for the first time (I changed twice because of being puked on)) I heard a thump followed by ear splitting cries. Naturally I sprinted all of 10 feet from the closet to the couch where I had Ezra secured in his boppy, only to find him face down on the ground. The little ninja had squirmed his way out of the security of the boppy to explore his surroundings… on his face, on the carpet. Naturally I scooped him up right away on the brink of tears, held onto him for dear life and kept repeating “It’s okay mommy’s here”. His crying prevailed and so I did what I believe most other mothers would do, I stuck him on the boob and his cries quickly subsided.
I carried the guilt with me for the rest of the day and spoiled him with hugs, kisses and extra milk. It was the first time he ever got hurt, but I know it won’t be the last. I think that realization is a comfort yet scary. Comforting in the sense that he is fine, no lasting damage and he won’t even remember it. But I will, I’ll remember it as the first time my son had an accident and thankful it was minor. Scary in the sense of all the hurt he might one day encounter. Today I could scoop him into my arms and tell him it was okay, I was there to hold him, comfort him and wipe his tears. Years from now the hurt will most likely be worse, a serious accident, a sports injury, a broken heart. I won’t be able to hold him in my arms like I did today, I might not be there to wipe his tears.
Being a mom is hard. It comes with trials, good moments and bad moments. Today was definitely a bad mom moment, but I’m so thankful that I was there to be with my son, console him and tell him it was alright. I wouldn’t change my bad mom moment for anything because it allowed me to realize how precious my time with Ezra is, the good and the bad.