How to avoid making your husband invisible

invisibleI love my husband more than life, but if you are a mother you know that sometimes it is easy to let your man go neglected. A few weeks ago I was reading a post on that posed the question “Who comes first, husband or kids?”. Always promising Clay that he would come first before our children I quickly typed out my answer and posted it along with numerous other responses. Reading through however I noticed how 99% of mother’s boldly stated that their children are their number one. The reason being that the husbands are grown men who can take care of themselves, whereas children need someone to nurture them (particularly when you have a baby).

These answers saddened me, and gave me a clear understanding of why so many couples lose their spark, and eventually lead themselves to divorce. Yes, it is true that men (regardless of what they think) actually can take care of themselves… but so can you. Would you be willing to let yourself go unloved, uncared for or emotionally/ physically untouched? Aren’t those the things we daily complain about regarding our spouses attention towards us? If we need those things daily in our lives to feel fulfilled, what makes a wife believe that it is okay to treat her husband with that type of disrespect?

Men respond to love, but if you are holding back on giving that love he will shut down. People in general give what they receive. If you are giving nothing, you will most likely get nothing and then complain about it later. There is no limited amount of love, having a child does not mean you take the love for your husband and instead give it to your son or daughter. If that were true then with each child a family has that limited portion of love would be passed from person to person as they were born. Ridiculous!

Give yourself a personal analysis. Can you say that you give your husband all that he deserves on a daily basis? Even if you do, here are a few tips to help you show him that you still see him, he isn’t invisible and you cherish his being and your relationship first and foremost.

1.Greet him with a kiss

Give your guy a smooch when he gets home from work, when you wake up and when you go sleep. Even if this is the only physical intimacy you have all day, it will send him a positive message.

2. Spend at least 5 minutes together (phone free)

Talk about your days, and really listen to what he is saying. Don’t just respond with ‘uh huh’ or ‘that’s crazy’. We all know those responses mean you’re not listening at all.

3. Leave him love notes, in the car, in the bathroom, in his socks or stuff one in his pocket for him to find later.

4.Send him a text with a simple ‘I appreciate all you do for this family’

5.Pray for him and your relationship

Prayer is a direct line to God and praying for your husband creates a bond that many do not have. Pray for his leadership, pray for your relationship, pray for your heart towards your husband.

You and your husbands relationship is the crux of your family. If you allow your husband to feel neglected it will create a wedge, and that wedge drives right through your family. Loving is a choice. Always choose to love your husband, choose to show him your affections, choose to demonstrate his importance to you. Don’t allow your children to take his place; they can’t fulfill the roles God intended for your husband.


5 thoughts on “How to avoid making your husband invisible

  1. Kate says:

    Hmm, that is always a tricky question. As a mom who has one in college and one in high school, I know there is not one pat answer.
    Instead of framing the responsibility of what happens in marriage after a baby is born, both couples should be part of the discussion, and the solution.
    There are times, such as when you have sick kids there might not be time for affection, etc. A married couple has to prepare for these times as well.


      • Being Mrs. McIntosh says:

        I definitely agree that both spouses are responsible for giving 100%, writing from a mother’s perspective my goal was to encourage fellow moms to give their all for their husband. It is definitely true though that husbands are just as responsible 🙂 Thanks for reading, I appreciate the feedback!


  2. Loftspeaker1 says:

    While raising children takes a lot of our time and efforts, I don’t believe that that is an excuse to think that husbands would “understand” if our marital relationships go on the back burner for a while.
    Both parents need to work together to raise their children AND also find ways to still feel connected with their spouse. They need to go on dates maybe once every other month, take time off for a getaway twice a year etc.. even little things throughout the week or day can show a husband that his wife cares about him.
    Take a look at my blog for Christian married women:


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